I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
