So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
