big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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