don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize