eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
