dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
