I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
