i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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