My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
