I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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