Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize