Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
They took my balls.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
