I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
