He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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