I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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