Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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