Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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