i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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