i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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