There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize