watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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