Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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