Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
3pm strippers are depressing
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
