Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
