Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
