you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize