marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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