Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
How naked do you want me to be?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
