Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Farmville is her only friend.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
