Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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