the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
