Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
you had me at cake vodka
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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