love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
