The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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