you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
