he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
