and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
