i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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