im drinking this country out of the recession.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize