Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
