I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
