I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
