Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
