just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
