didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
