is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
