Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
