apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
