Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Your dad touched me again.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
