he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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