yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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