Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
