i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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