I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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