he looks like a really good dad on facebook
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
