Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
