she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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