I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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