This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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