Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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