out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
