yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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