your thong is hanging out like whoa
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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