Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
