Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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