yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize