we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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