so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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