drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize